I Have a Confession.

I have a confession.

I’ve been hiding. 

I committed to showing up boldly for my community and instead, I’ve been hiding. 

The inner world changes I’m experiencing are happening so fast that I literally feel like I’m being riddled with wound exposing + healing bullets. It’s been intense. 

There have been so many, so fast, that I can’t even keep up. The processing is happening so quickly that I don’t even have time to process and share before another one hits me. 

To be honest, it’s left me feeling clearer than ever on my purpose, but stumbling over my thoughts and words when I attempt to share with you what’s happening.

I feel like I’ve been cracked open in a sense. And all my inner wounds are exposed. It’s been extremely painful. And yet deeply, deeply healing.  

There have been MANY tears. Some filled with fear, overwhelm, anger, rage, disappointment, resentment and others with joy, excitement and love.   

You see, when I declared to the Universe a few months ago that I was really ready to have the life I’ve been dreaming about for years - and I fucking meant it - the Universe responded back with an “Okay, let’s do this. Hooooold on!” 

So many things have changed. Here's the three biggest shifts…..

1. My marriage has gone through another massive healing uplevel. Our relationship has deepened in a way I never thought possible but always craved. The level of intimacy that now exists after almost 14 years is beyond what most could imagine. I look at the man by my side and while we have been through many tumultuous times (and I don’t say this lightly), we are stronger than ever despite our life and relationship not being perfect. I can honestly say that I am with my soulmate - and deeply grateful for him.
   
   P.S. We are in talks of doing either a podcast or group program or both in the near future!
   
   
2. A couple weekends ago, while cleaning out the garage, I also healed 25 years of sexual shame in about an hours time. It was a crazy whirlwind of events. We found an old box of photos that contained a racy pic of me taken by an old boyfriend. I didn't even recall that the picture existed. It triggered intense, deep shame and embarrassment at first. Then I went inward and remembered that I was (and still am) a  very sexual young woman exploring my sexuality and that I was not a slut or a whore. Those were the things I was told often by my peers and other people I cared deeply about. I was a beautiful, sexy young woman and I had always been highly sexual since I was a very little girl. But I thought I was wrong for that. When I became a mother, I shut off my sexuality to be a “good mom”. But over the last couple years, I’ve been waking back up to who I am. I was reminded of the amazing, delicious sex life I have with my husband and realized this is WHY. And it’s actually a good thing. It always has been. Then POOF, just like that, the shame all diminished. I feel freer than ever to own my sexuality and all my choices of the past, present and future. Such a huge weight was lifted. I actually can’t wait to talk more about this and pleasure in my upcoming podcast and UPGRADED group program - Back to Center. Stay tuned for more info on these. 
   
   
3. I've been overwhelmed and out of alignment. Life has changed for me in the last few months. We've had significantly less household support than previous months. I felt like I was drowning. When I am under resourced, I get angry and resentful. I shut down.  I don't want to be a mother or a wife. I want to run away. Every mess, request or demand on me feels like a personal attack on me. My energy is drained, my patience short and I am not a nice person. This way of being is completely out of alignment with my values, my teachings and who I desire to be in the world. Living under resourced and resentful is literally what landed me in adrenal fatigue three years ago. And I swore I would not allow myself to go back there again. But I haven’t shared this with my community. I was disappointed that it had gotten to this point and I felt shitty that I wasn’t living what I teach. Not only was I not living it but I was making love to it. I was in full blown victim-hood around my workload and feelings about it. I blamed everyone else and took no responsibility. Which is exactly what had to happen for me to heal it once and for all.  I finally feel like I get to be supported consistently in my life. I choose to know I am supported and to literally be supported. It’s a mindset. This has been a core wound of mine for MANY, MANY years. I thought I had healed it but it turns out there was more work to do….as is for most deep wounds. We think we cleared them and then they pop up one more time for a full healing. 

As I write this, I feel like I am almost on the other side of it all. It all still feels very fresh, but also solid. I am in a place of my power again and know that I am creating the very life that I’ve dreamed of and that absolutely nothing can stop me. 

If you have any questions for me, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m an open book and I love to support you in any way I can. You can reach me inside my free online community - Expansive Flow with Cara Mendez or you can DM me on Instagram.

Lastly, if you are ready to dig in and clear out whatever is holding you back from your dream life, I have two ways to support you right now - 1:1 coaching or my Next-Level Mastermind. If you are truly ready to invest in your next-level, let’s chat to see if we are an energetic match. Here’s my online calendar , book a time that works for you.

I love you. You got this shit.

XOXO - Cara